Friday, 31 October 2008

Wigan, cow heads and Beyonce's beautiful sister

The Keawyeds from Keawyed City are coming. According to Wiganpedia there are two local stories how this name came about. In one it says that in 1815 a celebration was held to mark the end of the Napoleonic Wars an ox's head was roasted, which was mounted on a pole and was fought over by two opposing factions in the town. The victors were dubbed "Keaw-Yeds". The other story tells that a farmer in Westhoughton found his cow had got its head stuck in a five barred gate (or fence), and rather than cut the gate, the farmer cut the cow's head off, since the cow cost less than the gate.

It is quite obvious that the second story is the true one as they are one set of thick buggers over there. It has been said that a Keawyed girl’s one ambition in life is to marry a bloke from Leigh.

Any road their football team Daisy Hill are the Robins opponents on Saturday and hopefully Ben Kay will be parading around the Red Robin with a cow’s yed on a stick after 90 minutes.

Fresh from last week’s easy victory (and cracking day out for the fans) at Cassy Gabs everybody will be looking for more of the same. In a game that could have seen the Robins get six or seven goals they had to settle for just the three with Ryan Small, the excellent Andrew Miller and Danny Worthington hitting the back of the net. As for the day well.. A right proper old school day out it was. Trains that were cancelled at Manchester as the guard was still pissed from the night before (er probably), dark, cold, rain, John Willie Lees beers, a really (really, really) dodgy boozer with the bitterest of bitter blues in there but as welcoming as pubs go. Oh and Solange’s Sandcastle Disco rocking the telly to bits. And then we get the directions and get lost - as did the lads that came by car – and the “five-minute walk” becomes twenty and we have to have another pint and get a taxi!! And the taxi turns up a minute after we order it so we deck a pint in two minutes. Then we go into their magnificent club for Guinness and jackbit. And it looks like St Pats Rugby Club as there are so many meatheads in there.

What a great place and a really good old ground and a grand day out. Needless to say we grab lifts back and end up in the Bath Springs before I’m some how in the back of Daz Mullen’s fancy car. How I got in and out of the back seat I’ve no idea!

The Club Captain's car

Well it was still pissing down as I made my way home – more of the same this week I guess.

The Daisies have 11 points from eight games and have let in 21 goals. With us leaking a similar amount this could be WRP’s first 6-5 victory. Let’s hope it’s more 4-0 but hey we’ll take anything. A pint of beer would be nice but the early week rumours haven’t materialised and it looks like F&B’s will be getting some of our lot’s money while the rest of us will do with a Mars Bar and a cup of coffee. Well if it was good enough for Marianne Faithfull…

Rochdale Town pics courtesy Pilps
Other pics nicked from internet

Friday, 24 October 2008

Wigan Robin Park (P)review - The Le's

Photo courtesy of the Cheadle lads

We're out of the grey and back in the red with apologies for the lack of updates on the blog. Sometimes real life gets in the way. Well real life, book deadlines, Adnams bitter and downright laziness but...

With two of the le's out the way we travel to the third on Saturday. The le's? No not some obscure scouse band but teams ending in le. We had Cheadle a week back, Bootle in midweek and this week we go to Castleton. Er Rochdale. And with a draw and defeat so far surely a win is on the cards this Saturday.

But first:

Cheadle Town... In a game that saw neither team giving much away the nineties minutes ended one a piece. For a totally unbiased report and some excellent photos see this excellent website

Basically I'll just concur with that and say it was good to meet up with the Cheadle lads. For a biased report check out the video of the game (when I work out how to put it on here!).

Bootle was cold, dark, rainy and just as midweek football should be. Pity the bar wasn't open but the tea hut was absolutely splendid. Pies, hot dogs, home made soup, decent coffee and all sorts in between...

I'd settled on a tray of chips before the game. I was going for a pint but put my head in a couple of the local bevvy houses and thought better of it. It was very scouse. As was the ground as the tell-tale signs of marijuana smoke wafted across the stands. I'm sure I heard some Pink Floyd being played at some point...

Also good to meet up with some AFC Liverpool fans who were there checking out their rival teams. And if they'd checked out just the first half they would say that Bootle are a fair-decent side. They battered us but thankfully it was only 2-0 at the break - mainly due to some excellent goalkeeping and desperate defending.

The second half saw us get back into the game and a late rally and great effort by Ryan Small almost saw us equalise. As it was we had to settle with just a Ben Kay goal and no points.

It's one of those things and if we take the second half performance into the game at Rochdale we should have too much for the second bottom team.

The Wigan Robin Bastards will be on the march (or more likely the train) and are looking forward to visiting what is one of the oldest and most established clubs in the league - not withstanding the new name. As we land before midday it will be interesting to see how long we last in the ground after being warned about OUR language in th'athletics stadium by some of THEIR fans earlier this season. Should be fun and here are 21 things that could happen

1. It'll be off
But if it's not then

2. The Bear will come on and score
3. The Olde Bastard will get some friendly abuse
4. The Whistle Stop Brekkkie will be the only thing I eat all day
5. So I won't be able to blame no food on being drunk
6. We'll end up spending ages explaining that the Premiership is not all it's set up to be to bemused Rochdale fans
7. Meanwhile the results will go against Latics again
8. Ryan Small will get two goals, kiss the badge and talk endlessly about them to anybody that will listen to him in the Bath Springs - for the next two weeks!
9. Their announcer will make Taffy sound like Richard Burton
10. The lobby gobbler will be linesman again
11. Ben Kay will lose his alice band and spend 20 minutes looking for it in the muddy penalty box
12. Jay Foulds will have two good games on the trot!
13. The Bear will win on the coupon again
14. Castleton will be a decent old place
15. And their clubhouse will lead to everybody saying: "Wish we had a club like this"
16. Bootle will lose this weekend
17. Les Bagg may have a sly ciggie
18. And the odd pint or two
19. Most of our lot will be home and asleep in the chair when the MOTD theme kicks in
20. Or talking nonsense in the John Bull
21. Bring on Daisy Hill!

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Wigan Robins welcome the ton-up boys

If it’s Saturday and it’s 3pm then it must time for the Robins. And this Saturday the Norton girl’s in town. Well… if not the Norton girl then at least Norton United.

Based in Smallthorne in Stoke on Trent Norton United were formed in 1989 after a bloke from Norton Cricket Club wanted summat to do in the winter. They were promoted to the NWCL in 2001 they have continued their development and now run sides at Under 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11 and 10’s. On top of this they’ve developed a very tidy ground, what looks like a fine clubhouse and a second pitch for the junior teams. You also have to walk along the side of the cricket pitch to get to the ground so the members of Mudhutters CC might get a bit of practice in (not that we need it) when we go to the return match – in January!

For now however the rev-up boys will be visiting th’athletics track with a record of played six, won three, drawn one and lost two so it should be a close game – especially as they have only conceded eight goals.

Last week their game at Holker was called-off due to a waterlogged pitch and by all accounts weren’t too pleased about it as they only found out when they got there. Personally I’d have just gone the bar and had a Warsteiner (or ten).

They also have a player called Rutter – which is always good for a laugh but those that laugh last and all that ought to be aware that he was the VODKAT LEAGUE First Division player of the month for September scoring in all five games.

The Robins come into the game after the hard-fought game up in the middle of the Irish Sea last week. There is a full report on the official website that details the game and sums it up perfectly.

Suffice to say it was sterling effort from all the players. It was hard enough watching in those conditions never mind playing in it and the clean sheet was well deserved.

It is also worth noting that AFC Blackpool had a great little ground. Cover at both ends, seats down each side, fantastic hot chocolate, decent pies and a fine clubhouse. We got off pretty sharpish after the game just having the one and I’m not sure how long the players stayed as it had all kicked off in the tenth minute of injury time!

And congratulations to John Neafcy who celebrated being a granddad for the second time by effing and blinding at the linesman and referee in his normal way.

Altogether now:

“I've been sitting here all day thinking
Same old dream ten years away thinking
Now my days are gone, memories linger on
Thoughts of when I was boy
Penny farthings on the street riding
Motorcars were funny things, frightening
Bow and hoops and spinning tops
Penny Dreadfuls, lollipops
Comic cuts, all different things

Grandad, grandad you're lovely
That's what we all think of you
Grandad, grandad you're lovely
That's what we all think of you
Grandad grandad

Aeroplanes tied up with string flying
Telephones and talking things sighing
A radio and phonograph, Charlie Chaplin made us laugh
Silently falling about
Familiar things I keep around, near me
Memories of my younger days, clearly
Come into my mind
Everyday I find, thoughts of when I was boy

Grandad, grandad you're lovely
That's what we all think of you
Grandad, grandad you're lovely
That's what we all think of you
Grandad, Grandad…”

Photos of Norton's ground from the excellent website

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Wigan's Rockin' Robins - Gig at Robin Park this Saturday

Wigan Robin Park FC have organised a gig at Robin Park this Saturday. There are 2 bands and a DJ playing. Doors open at 7.30pm and the gig starts at 8pm.

Headlining are Zoomorphic from Liverpool. Made up of Allan Robb on lead vocals and guitar, Andy Cleary on bass and vocals, and Paul "Cogsy" Coggins on drums, Zoomorphic has made quite a name for themselves over the course of their young three year career in their hometown of Liverpool.

You can hear three great melodic tracks from the band on

Also on the bill are Face for Radio. Another band that ply their psychedelic brand of rock out of Liverpool.

Making up the bill is rapper Damo da Famo who is promising to bring fifteen dancing girls with him!!

Tickets are a tenner which includes free entry into the raffle with such prizes as a signed Arteta shirt, signed Ronaldo shirt plus signed balls and other stuff.

All proceeds go to the club to help with their plans for more junior teams for next season.

Friday, 3 October 2008

Barrow, Blackpool, Bootle and the Mighty Wigan Robin Park

Watch the Warsteiner!

The Old Boys made it to Holker and Chorley Matt notes:

1. Beer can go an awful long way when opened on a train

a. Bombardier is not pronounced how I thought it was
b. Vaughanie already knew this
c. A woman in Stoke also knew this

3. An inanimate Emlyn Hughes is easy to tackle if you "get yer head on it"

4. I'm shit at darts (unless we're sat down)

5. The Robin Bastards can empty a pub by ordering a taxi

6. The MIGHTY Robin Park travel well

7. You don't have to be a WAG to travel on the team bus

8. Beer gets me drunk

9. More beer gets me more drunk

10. Falling asleep on the bog gets you in trouble with the missus

11. Mrs CM discovered last night that she no longer has a bottle opener but opened a christmas cracker to get another one(!)

Donuts decided that

12. Donuts now has two bottle openers and a bottle of Punk IPA

13. Vaughanie loses all short term memory after a few beers (9 times he asked me where we were)

14. The Bath Springs (Bryn) serves a nice pint
15. The Bath Springs serves a nice basic buffet (hot dogs, cheese and onion butties, pizza)

16. £1.20 for Pie, Peas, Gravy with beetroot and onions is a good reason to spend £20 on a train ticket.

17. Vaughanie is Ryan Small's dad

18. Warsteiner should be served in all clubhouses (sod the plastic thwaites)

19. Vaughanie can't sing

20. Ben Kay is shit at taking penalties

"Come on Ben. Come on. Back of the net. Come on. 2-0"

As for me well: Never ever let me near that Warsteiner again!!!!

Oh we won 6-1 and you can check out all the details including description of all goals including Danny Worthington's hat-trick on the official site. For a fan's eye view collar, Bagg, Pilps or Rob in the pub as they went in the car and can undoubtedly remember more!

This Saturday the Robins make another trip to the edge of the Irish Sea with a rearranged match with AFC (nee Mechanics) Blackpool. Originally a midweek game in November the Saturday fixture comes as a relief but the fact that Latics are at home will be a bummer for those that like to do both.

Anyhow the team will be focused enough and will be looking for a win against the team that went down 6-3 at home to AFC Liverpool last weekend. Their full results - so far - are won one, drawn one and lost four so WRP will be looking for three points before the return game with Bootle next Tuesday.

Full report on both games next week - if I stop off the ale!!