Monday, 31 August 2009

Follow, follow The Robins are going all techno

Just a quick note to let you good people know:

We have a new official website:

We are on twitter:

We are talking bollocks on:

And are on facebook at: Group - Wigan Robin Bastards

Follow Wigan's non-league football club...

Wigan go to Barlick and back and come back with nowt

Apologies for the lack of updates but real life... and laziness has got in the way. So what's happened since the last time?

Well we put seven past Rochdale, signed Steve Williams from Burscough which now means we can sing:

"There's only three Williams brothers (and their dad)
There's only three Williams brothers (and their dad)
They used to be Scouse but now they're all ours
Walking in a Williams wonderland."

To the tune of Winter Wonderland.

Three brothers in a team, eh. The last time this happened - I am led to believe by Vinnie - is when the Neafcy brothers played together. this was a long time ago and I don't think they were as good as the Williams boys but... They tell me Vinnie was like shit off a shovel which begs the question: "Why is his Andy so bloody slow?"

Other than that we crashed out of the Wigan Cup to Golborne Sports. A disastrous night that saw the author pick up another Robins-related injury. This time a bloody insect bite that put me on death's door the next day. Well death's door might be exaggerating a bit but it knocked me for six for a day or so.

Total injuries 2009/10 so far
Banged head - Leek
Wasp sting - Holker
Burned top lip (off a pie) - Rochdale
Insect bite - Golborne

I'd be safer in the centre of defence...

On Saturday we travelled to the East Lancashire/Yorkshire borders where we lost by two goals to nil against Barnoldswick Town. Nice little gaff, some backward fans (as is often the case that way) and four seasons in one day. Oh and we battered 'em. Hit the woodwork four times, gifted them two goals - the only shots they had - and somehow got nothing from the game... Good game all told and we'll bounce back...

In a nutshell:

Can't believe we didn't get anything from it. one way traffic for the last hour

MOM (as voted by their team/officials) McNally

Actual Robins MOMs (as voted by a the Robin Bastards) Chipper Martin - bar his usual dodgy first twenty minutes

Ref - Utterly awful. Booking the wrong player, letting players wander on and off pitch etc etc

Liners - The fat 'un weren't bad but the one on our side. How hard is it to get an offside decision correct

Pitch - Green and sloping

Barnoldswick folk - some decent people but that little mob with their racist chants and the rest. It's 2009 for fuck's sake...

Pie Chart - Nice sausage rolls, coffee in mugs, pie and peas in proper crockery - excellent stuff

Piemaid - Lovely young blonde girl. Very pleasant in all aspects

After match grub - Hotdogs and ham butties in the Bath Springs

Beer - Bad Carling lager - not good, not good at all...

Programme - very good

Played 4 Won 2 Drawn 1 Lost 1 Points 7 Position 6th

Ramsbottom preview - later in the week

Miss Wigan Robin Park September 2009 Nico Robin

Nico Robin is a tall, attractive woman with shoulder length black hair. She frequently wears somewhat revealing clothing that is either dark in color or consisting of leather, sometimes both. Perhaps as a result of her violent past, she is very unmerciful during combat. She will break the necks or spines of her enemies without hesitation, even when they cry for forgiveness. At one point, she even attempted to break the spine of one of her fellow crew members (Usopp as Sogeking on the sea train). Despite her tendency to remain calm and collected, she can be quite intimidating and forceful when she wishes. This is exhibited when she essentially forces Brook to stop fooling around and continue his explanation."

She's our type of woman...

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Wigan hit the bar and the Old Boys for two...

After a long wet summer competitive football returned to the stadio de robin park with the first home league game against Holker Old Boys.

Rain, rain and more rain might have made it difficult but two goals in the first half made for a comfortable victory. First up was a Chris McNally penalty before a well-taken Ryan Small on the stroke of half-time killed off the opponents and the game in general.

Holker huffed and puffed and despite their two lads up front looking lively The Robins were never in danger.

Andy Neafcy - who is currently challenging Small for the "best midfielder in Wigan" crown was outstanding whilst the defence were marshalled superbly by Chris Williams and James "Dixie" Deane. What made this even more remarkable is that Deane was playing after his near-fatal head injury on Saturday. Doctors examining him after the game at Leek however claimed that his injury was nothing more than a "bump" compared to the author of this piece's head injury. Sustained by banging his head on the duggout retrieving a wayward pass - that could have been from Dixie!!!

While the team looked sluggish at times it was good to see a second clean sheet, the Small v Macca league goalscoring contest sitting at 1-1 and the team sitting in second place in the table. Not that tables should be looked at after just two games but ....

All that said it wasn't the football on the pitch that was the main talking point in the stand as after a year the bar at the Arena was at last open. Added a whole different atmosphere to the place. All we need now is a decent telly for the results and the place might start to resemble a football club/clubhouse.

Meanwhile here are a few things we noticed at the match.

The programmes and badges went like hot cakes - however hot cakes go.

Paul Vermiglio is better at banter from the stands than football on the pitch

MOM: (as voted for by "them men") McNally

MOM: (as voted for by the Wigan Robin Bastards) Neafcy

Their MOM: (as voted for by the Wigan Robin Bastards) Their keeper: we hadn't noticed anybody and somebody said: "keeper" and that was it

Lager: Fosters alright John Smiths decent

Barmaid: A fella but his two willing assistants were pretty if somewhat young (edited by site: TOO young)

Pie Chart: According to Ned Goon: "These pies are alreet!"

After-match refreshments: decent butties

Roll on Saturday...

Monday, 10 August 2009


In a nutshell:

Tough physical game - Robins coped well and looked the more likely to snatch a win. But fair result overall.

MOM (as voted by their team/officials) Small

Actual Robins MOMs (as voted by a few blokes in pub) Chris Williams, Neafcy, Callaway

Ref - Awful

Liners - worse

Pitch - bobbly and full of weeds

Leek Hospitality - excellent

Pie Chart M&P - very peppery £1.50 lovely

Barmaid - Mandy MILFtastic

After match grub - Burgers, sausages, onions & chip butties

Beer - normal Carling lager - average

Programme - very good

Played 1 Drawn 1 Points 1

In a little bit more depth

Good start to the season. Lovely weather, a proper old football ground and cracking pies. What more can a man ask for?

Well three points would have been nice but a nil-niller - due to lack of chances for both sides - was probably the fairest of results.

Leek CSOB are probably the most direct team in the decision with the old fellar at number nine working the line very well. So credit must go to the whole of the defence that hardly gave them a snif.

For The Robins Deano Callaway had a fine game and went the closest with an 18-yard drive hitting the post while Macca made himself a great half-chance after he completely out-foxed their defender but the keeper prevailed. At the other end Jay Foulds made one of those superb point blank saves/just hit him save (delete as appropriate).

It was good to see us in the ascendancy at the death as the lads' fitness held out on a very warm day and difficult pitch.

There will be some photos up when i work out what to do with The Hopper's camera!

Next up is Holker tomorrow night... 8pm kick-off. Your support is most welcome