Ashton Athletic - the luckiest team in football?

Sad, sad news as Nelson FC have resigned from the Vodkat League.
The club has struggled to continue, particularly financially over the last few seasons and they have decided to withdraw the team from the league.
The Vodkat League’s Emergency Committee met and has decided that under National League system regulations Ashton Athletic will retain their place in the Premier Division, to maintain the full complement of 22 clubs in the division.
With West Didsbury & Chorlton's participation in the league it looks like Division One could very well be running with 18 clubs.
Not only that but we also lose out on the chance to play Ashton Ath - in what was to be an eagerly-awaited local derby when it was The Robins intention to take six points from them and drink their bar dry!
There's a chance we'll get them in the cup but until then the team that entered the league from the Manchester League Dicision One (rather than Premier League) and got promoted to the Vodkat Premier League when they finished outside the promotion spots live to fight another day in the Premier Division.
Best of luck to them, though. Might be a bit difficult on the playing side after they thought they'd be at Division One level but they've a chance.
Now let's hope for that cup draw!

Joe Hawkins has been pondering a lot lately, gently pondering…

Is it good Wigan etiquette to eat a meat and tater pie with a plastic fork?
Has there ever been a bigger cunt than John Terry?
That Irish slapper that Fat Frank is shagging. Who ever told her she was a) talented and b) decent looking? Horrible talentless munter - a bit like Fat Frank then.
Chester fans. Biggest set of deluded whoppers ever. Their behaviour - on the non-league messageboards - when they thought (God forbid) they might have to play in the Vodkat League was pitiful, embarrassing, pathetic, big-time Charlie and downright disgusting.
The England team kit. About the only thing they got right. Big up to Umbro, Aitor Throup and Charlie Allen. Second best kit - Paraguay. Red and white stripes and blue shorts shouldn't work but as been seen before it just does…
Moonboots' mixes. The Balearic DJ, Wigan's finest and all-round top bloke. Go to Google and check them out. Skill!
Stevie Wonder at Glastonbury from the comfort of the armchair. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!
The rest of the acts from Glastonbury from the comfort of the armchair. Dreadful, absolutely dreadful. Apart from Ray Davies immediately after England's capitulation to the Gerries. Turned the telly over and there he is performing 'Waterloo Sunset' and 'Days' for his mate - the Kinks bassist Peter Quaife - who had died during the week. Beautiful, stirring, emotional and skilful. Everything that those overpaid egotistic prima donnas hadn't been. Thank you for the days, Pete.
Chris Waddle's outburst: "We need to go back to jumpers for goalposts". Well said you chubby old Geordie.
Waiting for the fixtures. Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting… We know it takes a while and we know the reasons but it doesn't make it any easier especially when the Premiership and Football League fixtures have been out for weeks.
Henley's tee shirts, shorts, black socks and horrible trainers. "The youth of today pah", he says as he sits in madras shirt, chinos and dessies. Joe Hawkins still leading the way in his fifties 
Muffin Man back on form. Large tater, small meat and a slice. Perfection. Gordon "I used to be a footballer you useless fucking idiot" Ramsey: Eat your big fat arse out - that's all it takes!
That said it's a barm cake. Never baps, rolls, muffins or whatever.
Diego Maradona. You just can't come to hate him, can you? I know, I know but you'd have one of him over a hundred John Terrys. Did I mention that he was a cunt? I liked the comment I saw on the internet: "If you got the five biggest cunts in the world together and let them have a race to find out who was the biggest cunt John Terry would finish second on purpose. He's that big of a cunt!"
Pre-season training: I'm sweating, throwing up, cursing and turning crimson just watching the lads do their stuff.
Beckham for England manager campaigns. "They think it's all over. It is now."
The good folks on the nonleaguezone website have been having their bit of fun predicting how the divisions will pan out this season. I've kept out of it as you can't tell at this time of the season but it's shaping up to be a good one and I honestly don't think we’ll be far off.
The ITV commentary team. Barring Gareth Southgate - what a useless set of blurts. Turns over to BBC and Linekar, Shearer and Hansen. Hmmmm
Solidity from the Vodkat clubs and fans over the summer - concerning the Chester business and their attacks - and very strong leadership from the League committee. Well done to all concerned.
"Enjoy yourself it's later than you think"
Joe Hawkins

The morning after the afternoon before part one

The morning after the afternoon before part one
It was 1-4, it could have been 2-2 at halftime and it could quite easily have been 1-7. England is out of the World Cup, a million flags wilt in the sun, another dignified manager looks lost and lonely and the golden generation didn't even glisten.
But first let's get the 2-2 bit out of the way. Yes it was over the line and yes it may have changed the game but we were well and truly battered.
The manager made mistakes and he may even have been sacked when you read this. Questions should be asked but in my view the blame lies with the players and the "best league in the world". To put it simply the players are overpaid, over-hyped, arrogant, egotistic twats and that is putting it politely. Add into that the fact that they are simply not very good and it was obvious that a young, vibrant German side would quite literally leave them standing. "Not very good" I hear you say. "They are brilliant, they play in the best league in the world and there's Wazza, Stevie G and JT." That is maybe correct if you subscribe to the fact that Sky Sports and Talksport are telling you that By now they will indeed be telling you that and unfortunately they are telling you a load of crap. Like Wazza, Stevie G and JT the league is overpaid, over-hyped, arrogant and egotistic and some of us have realised this for years.
A league with six English managers and not too many more English-born players. A league where even the club's academies are rammed with foreign youngsters and a league where the main aim of 15 teams is to finish 17th with anything else a bonus. See when I say some of us have realised this for years that some of us is becoming more of us as the seasons pass by. The England support was described as a different type of support to that (that) has followed England in the past and that much is true. Whilst cost and distance was undoubtedly a factor in this there is also a huge number of people that see through all the shite. Through all the hype, the Sky shit, the phone-ins and the utter horrible human beings that are our golden generation.
It needs to change but it won't. The FA are so in-deep with Sky Sports that every England press conference started with five questions from the Sky football correspondent. The new breed of England fans that were in South Africa has won. It's their game now and whilst they'll be spouting off on internet messageboards and radio phone-ins about the failure of England's national team. By next week they'll spouting off on internet messageboards and radio phone-ins about the latest South American signing that nobody has heard of for their club whilst totally oblivious that they are part of the problem.
The players will be quiet for a while. Maybe Terry - who undoubtedly would have been dropped by Capello if Ferdinand and King had been fit - will mouth off because he's John Terry and he's a cunt but the rest (who are merely twats) will hold their lip. But come the big kick-off. The first Super Sunday or Grand Slam Saturday they'll be back. Soft arse "once a blue always a blue" Wayne Rooney will be snarling at referees and kicking anything that moves spurred on by his gloating manager. Ashley Cole will be oblivious to it all in his new set of wheels, Stevie G will still look shit-scared of something but still be adored by Liverpool's Cornish support while the aforementioned JT will be getting away with all sorts both on and off the pitch. Andy Gray will be analysing offsides while Richard Keys genuflects. The Soccer Saturday pundits will be screaming at a television screen while trying to make the Wolves and Blackburn goal-less draw sound like Brazil v Italy 1970 while the blurts in replica shirts will be passing through a pub near you.
But it could have been 2-2 at half time, technology, yawn, yawn, yawn. The debate will rage on and you know what the new breed and Sky Sports will love that. Referees will go upstairs to the eye in the sky and the Sky (Sports) in your eye will repeat it over and over again. Middle class tossers will watch the big screen at the Emirates and up it will come: NO GOAL. It'll be just like watching rugby league.
England 1 Germany 4 should be a wake-up call, a watershed, a dawning of a new era but sadly it will be just a trailer for the "best league in the world". Some of us quite simply aren't arsed anymore…

THE BLOG IS BACK

After a bit of a break the blog is back...

Just in time for the 2010/11 season following the Robins...

FIXTURE UPDATE: ALL LEAGUE GAMES NOW REARRANGED

Looks like all the fixtures have now been rearranged - Information taken from the Football Mitoo website


TONIGHT: AFC LIVERPOOL HOME - VODKAT DIVISION ONE TROPHY QUARTER-FINAL


Saturday 20 March: Rochdale Town Away


Tuesday 23 March: AFC Blackpool Away


Saturday 27 March: No game at present*


Monday 29 March: St Helens Town Away -Vodkat Challenge Cup Quarter-Final


Saturday 3 April: Oldham Boro Away


TUESDAY 6 APRIL: AFC BLACKPOOL HOME


Saturday 10 April: Eccleshall Away


TUESDAY 13 APRIL: LEEK CSOB HOME


Saturday 17 April: Atherton Colls Away


Tuesday 20 April: Holker Old Boys Away


Saturday 24 April: Chadderton Away


Saturday 1 May: Cheadle Town Away


TUESDAY 4 MAY: CHEADLE TOWN HOME


SATURDAY 8 MAY: STONE DOMINOES



* Saturday 27 March: Seems to me that there is a possibility of a game this day: If we beat AFC Liverpool tonight we could play AFC Blackpool in semi-final as other semi is that day. If we lose to AFC tonight we could play St Helens on this day. The game is scheduled for the Monday but neither us nor Saints have a game on Saturday 27 March at present

--

Honours even: Robins 1 Norton United 1

Well what do we all make of this division this year?

No stand-out team like Bootle (last term) with everybody - and I mean everybody - looking capable of beating each other.

Take Norton on Saturday. They looked a completely different team to the one we played at the beginning of the season. As did Daisy Hill, Ashton et al. It really is a very even division and on Saturday an even game was played out by two pretty evenly matched teams. Even if I say so myself...

Admittedly The Robins had a fantastic double-opportunity to grab all three points in injury time when Adi Whittle latched on to a flicked header from Big Pey Vermiglio. Deciding to go alone rather than square the ball to Dean Callaway he (maybe) took the ball a step too much forward but his powerful shot was superbly saved by the
visitor's keeper Leigh Miller. The rebound fell to Deano who hit the ball first time only to see his shot richochet off the post and go behind for a dead ball. Definite chances that should probably have been put away but in fairness the keeper made a cracking save and Deano's wasn't the best angle to hit it at but it was hands on heads time for all concerned.

Not that Norton deserved to lose as they took the game to us, kept two men upfront all game and defended from the front making life hard for The Robins on a difficult windy day.

Playing with the breeze the visitors went ahead on 12 minutes after they opened up our defence to leave Ashley Hill with an easy finish.

While it is true to say that the visitors dominated the first period the Robins produced the move of the game moments before half time when good work by Ryan Small led to Lee Moss finishing neatly to take the teams in level at the break and alter The Gaffer's half time team talk/rollicking.

With the wind on their backs in the second half The Robins looked the more accomplished team and finished the stronger going close on a number of occasions culminating in the great double-chance during injury time. That said Norton were always a threat and it would have been cruel on them to lose as they brought a positive attitude to the Arena and contributed to a good game in difficult conditions.

That last sentence is obviously utter bollocks and we'd have take the (undeserved) win by whatever means necessary.

The other downer - apart from the dropped points was yet another injury. This time it was Neil Swift that was taken to hospital. The verdict - cartilage damage that will see him out for "at least two weeks". When will it end?

However we've got to press on as AFC Liverpool are here in the quarter final of the Vodkat Division One Trophy tomorrow.

I'm just putting the dubbin on my boots and am available if required...

In a nutshell:

Cold - very cold
Norton's Number One Fan - With club badge and Norton's Number One Fan tattooed on his neck! He was a nice lad, mind
Norton's Number 10 - Delroy Somebodyorother never stopped moaning from first minute until he was taken off. That said we gave him the man on the match but just shut the fuck up, lad.
How many players did they bring with them? Looked about twenty two and I didn't even get a buttie at the end of the game there was that many of them.
Not sure who got our MOM - one of those games when nobody really stood out and nobody had a stinker. Game of two halves with both keepers having little to do for a half each.
Robin's Nest due to staff being over at a Cat Show. The 62nd All-Breed Championship Show in fact!
How much do we pay per match for the place? If it's not salsa dancing it's fat lads playing five-a-side or bloody cats. That said there was a lovely girl who was obviously lost. I coolly asked her if she was here for the football or was looking for the darts. She just looked at me like I was mad. Well it was Daz Mullen who told me the darts were on across the road!
Big Pey doing his usual and "taking somebody out". This time it was the referee!
Top quality chicken curry and rice in The Oddies
Roll on tomorrow when the scousers come to town - should be a good un.

Kick off 8pm. Admission £4 (£2 concessions)

"BRING ON THE ROBINS"

Put that in your pipe: Ashton Town 2 Wigan Robin Park 3

Part two of the Pie Classico served up a cracker as The Robins snatched a win with a sensational last-minute goal from Dean Midgeley.

In what was an entertaining game and with the scores level at 2-2 the seventeen-year-old full back won a tackle deep in his own half and with nothing on in front of him simply carried the ball forward beating Ashton defenders for fun before going around the the keeper and putting/scuffing the ball into the empty net.

Cue mad scenes on the pitch, in the dugout and on the terraces. It was deserved and totally justified.

The Robins playing up a hill resembling one of the three peaks they took the game to the scousers and it was no surprise when Swifty got his second goal in four days when he got on the end of a cross to stroke the ball home.

I'm not sure what the cartwheels and somersaults were all about. You're a bloody fullback lad leave that to the nancy boy forwards! Then again he probably doesn't get many goals but in his new role as winger you never know.

It was good to see the lads playing some decent stuff as they are beginning to get their act together aftera ropey period. To be fair to Ashton they can play a bit it's just a pity that they had to resort to taking it in turns to kick seven shades out of Ryan Small. Not that it bothers Ryan who just dusts himself down and gets on with it. Got to say for a midfielder he's doing a good job upfront at the moment and he worked the line well and never stopped running.

Town got into the game just before half-time when a long ball was misjudged by Midge, it hit him on the back and allowed the Ashton lad to put a good cross in for Steve Edwards to lose his marker and put the ball away. You expect it off Ste Eddy as he is a master at the art and good luck to him.

Playing down the hill in the second half Wigan sensed blood and in the 58th minute Ryan Small beat Ashton centre-half Gary Doyle to a long ball and then sensing ex-Robins trialist keeper Andy Hewitt off his line chipped him from 25 yards fo a fantastic goal.

Now when you score the first thing you do is keep it tight and all that but what you don't need is an atrocious decision by a referee who sees a free-kick from a perfect tackle. Despite protestations the decision stood and Wallace superbly placed the ball directly into the corner of the net to make it 2-2.

The goal however didn't dent The Robins confidence and they pressed forward going close on a couple of occasions before Midgeley scored his first goal for the club.

Time was up and cue the celebrations. A very, very sweet victory and to quote a member of the Ashton management after they beat us at the Stadio de Robin Park: "Put that in your pipe and smoke it."

In a nutshell:
Good pint of Deuchars in the Cross Keys
Fifteen of our line-up were Wiganers
One of Ashton's line-up was a Wiganer
Brilliant goal from Ryan - even better one from Midge
All our lads having good games
John Leech running the line in tights (oh and coaching the Town players as he went along)
The other liner wearing glasses
Nothing from the ref. How he gave that free-kick only he will know and our lads on other side claim Swifty should have had a pen in the second half
Their right back going through the back of Deano and claiming he got the ball was pitiful. Not to mention his response to our fans. More than pitiful. Bit disappointing to see him subbed immediately - we were looking forward to giving him some
But in the end three good points and roll on Norton United this Saturday. Robin Park Arena 3pm kick-off.

AFC Liverpool 0 Wigan Robin Park 1

What's not to like about Prescot?

Well quite a bit probably but when we go it's normally to collect three points from AFC Liverpool.

They normally do the same at our gaff but we'll forget about that for the moment. Having put the word out to a couple of people that we'd be in the Hope & Anchor (surely Cockney rhyming slang...) we took one look and thought: "The Sun Inn must be a better bet" and pottered down there. Swifty senior joined us after downing a pint in one or two in said Hope.

And a nice little boozer it is. Three rooms including an old-fashioned snug and a couple of corking pints of Cumberland and Old Speckled Hen was had by all.

Accompanied by some great "Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town" country and western music as all pubs should be made to play in the afternoon. We then moved around the corner to the home of the A57 Scooter Club. The Deanes House or summat. It was a big breezy pub and alright if you like that sort of thing, a pint of Boddies and down to the match. Pay-in, pick up their excellent programme, tell Robbo Senior we've been in a pub with pictures of scooters on the wall and settle down just in time for Swifty Junior to put us ahead.

On a black pudding of a pitch The Robins were soon on the front foot. A long throw from debutant Sam Rimmer was laid-back by Jon Corcoran to Neil Swift who cut in from the right and beat the AFC keeper from 18 yards for the opener.

In a tight first half chances were few and far between but Jay Foulds had to be at his best just before half-time as he pulled off a superb double save. That said we could have been further ahead but a great chance was missed by er (yeah you've guessed) Andy Neafcy who hit the ball straight into the keeper's hands. He was later heard to say that he will buy everybody a beer in Oddies when he scores. I may have dreamt that but as he'll never score we needn't woory about that.

The second half took on much the same flavour with neither team creating much. AFC Liverpool's threat was effectively snuffed out when they were reduced to ten men when their substitute Karl Gornell was sent off - minutes after he had come onto the pitch - for pushing Swifty in the face. This allowed The Robins to hold on comfortably for a fine away victory.

Neil Swift was awarded man of the match but everybody put in a good shift with Darren Mullen again defying the years producing a commanding performance at the back. Sam Rimmer also made his full debut and looked comfortable throughout whilst Ryan Small in an unfamiliar centre-forward role led the line well.

We retired to the clubhouse for a beer or so and caught up with some of the people we know from AFC Liverpool. I have to say I really enjoy our encounters with the club and although crowds have dropped off at the club I find the people there to be a really decent set. The pitch isn't helping them at all - as they obviously like to play football - so we will have to be at our best for the cup encounter.

We said our farewells invited them to our place in a week or so and jumped the train back to Bryn and have to report the hotpot in Oddies was on fine form. Pity the curry and rice had gone when we got there but beggars (and that is what we are)can't be choosers.

We are back in that other small part of Liverpool - Ashton Town - this Tuesday night so here's hoping for a good game. Kick off 7.45pm

"BRING ON THE ROBINS"

Miss Wigan Robin Park March 2010 Robyn Hobson

She's 21 from Cape Town, South Africa a feature in FHM over there and what with the World Cup being held there that's a good enough link to football as such. Oh and she's bloody lovely as well.

The Robins try and draw some positives from game: Robins 2 Daisy Hill 2

When fit please pass to the next person on the injury list

















Wigan Robin Park 2-2 Daisy Hill HT:2-0

Roll out the cliches and... it most certainly was a game of two halves. Well as far as the scoring goes anyway. In truth it was a pretty open game and although we went into half-time with a two-goal lead if it hadn't been for some superb goalkeeping by Jay Foulds they could have been in it. That said a Mossy rareity and a tremendous Dean Callaway finish meant we went into the break in control.

It might have all seemed rosy but the loss of Woody after just thirteen minutes of his comeback put a dampener on things. He was replaced by Dave Blakeney - making his debut - with Swifty moved to left back for his tenth position in two games.

Immediately after the break Deano Callaway found himnself on the end of a superb move but somwhow - and I have no idea how missed with an open goal beckoning. There was talk of spin on the ball, sun in his eyes or summat but it should have been 3-0. ten minutes later it was 2-1. Thirty minutes later it was 2-2.

Daisy Hill had most of the second half and it is fair that they took a point from the game but the lads will be kicking themselves. Not only should we have been three-up but later Chris McNall latching onto a through ball beat the keeper only to see his shot go agonisingly wide.

As the game went into injury a succession of injuries saw two Daisy Hill players go down and then Chris McNally turned suerbly in the box but a combination of the turn, the goalkeeper and defender coming out saw him down on the floor and in agony. The game finished with Macca flat-out behind the goal. An ambualnce was called and the word is ligament damage. Another sickening injury blow for The Robins. I've lost count how many lads we have out now and not sure when it will end.

With two games on Saturday it's going to be a real struggle to get 22 players on the pitch (or cabbage patch in the case of AFC Liverpool's Prescot home) but that's what the management get paid for. That's if they did get paid but you get my drift

As for last all that said it was an entertaining game and in a nutshell...

I know everybody says this but: "The referee gave us - now what's the technical word for this ah... - fuck-all"
Absolutely zilch, zero. A couple of his decisions were baffling to say the least.Corners that were definitely goal kicks, Daisy Hill players three yards away from a free-kick etc
Good debut from the young kid who came on early
Heartbreak for Woody and Macca
Another Callaway special. The lad looks on fire at the moment and Jay Foulds is also in the form of his life. Well they say keepers get better the older they get!
Usual chaos on the door at night games at the Arena. Referees meeting, some other council meeting, matches on the all-weather pitches. St Judes rugby there!! They get enough favours off the council (alegedly) can't they put their own placcy pitch down. Gymnastics and God knows what. You simply haven't a clue who's going the football or not!
Good butties as usual
Chipper buying me a beer!
AFC Liverpool next-up and "Bring on The Robins"