Thursday, 6 January 2011

Modern Football is rubbish part 839: Messageboard Managers

1969ish: Latics have been away at somewhere like Worksop Town and it is 6.15pm. Stood outside the newsagent waiting for the Post & Chronicle Football Pink. Pass the money over the counter and read the front page quickly.
"Yesssssssss - won."
And run back home to give the copy to my grandad or dad and wait a few hours for them to read it before they pass it over to you. And before a fish and chip supper, cards and the Match of the Day.
2011(just): Sat on the bed. BBC website on the laptop, twitter feed on the phone and Radio 5 on in the background. And four managers are going to get sacked and everybody's loving it. Meanwhile Latics are losing at Bolton and Chelsea are losing at Wolves and Lawro is on about Hodgson and Robbie Savage is getting excited that four managers could get sacked and that Arsenal “have no plan B”. Like Savage ever had a Plan A.
But hey this is the modern world. Everybody has an opinion.
In fact as Ray Davies said: “Everybody's a dreamer and everybody's a star
And everybody's in show biz, it doesn't matter who you are.”

And there are match threads on websites written by people that never go to a football game. Expert managers and expert tacticians. In their bedrooms on their laptop, twitter feeds on their phone and Radio 5 on in the background. Lawro talking tactics. BWFC_Fan talking tactics. BaggieForever talking tactics. Liverpooltilidie talking tactics.
And all the rest of that bollocks.
On Radio 5 Live (sic) Mark Bright is ranting about Arsenal fans ranting about “Boring, boring, boring City” and he’s probably right. As he is when he is ranting about Liverpool fans ranting as the soap opera goes on and on and on.
Ancelotti to be sacked for his team being fifth – I saw them play in the old second division.
Hodgson to be sacked for his team being twelfth – they were in the old second division in 1961
Houllier to be sacked for his team being in the relegation zone – I saw them play in the old third division for crying out loud.
And as for Grant and West Ham - well they’ve been up and down like the proverbial yo-yo.
Times change: Preston were once invincible and now they lie bottom. Well done Maurice old boy - keep up the good work.
Ah you are doing – Phil Brown in line for the job. Fucking hell…
And times change and it’s twenty past three and nobody’s been sacked and the soap opera that is football is having a quiet day. The calm before the storm they hope. Where soap stars like Rosie Webster shag blurts like Scott Sinclair who in another age: She would be working in Greggs and he’d be playing for Dulwich Hamlet and still it’s all 4-4-2 and 4-2-3-1 and Beckham is/isn’t singing for Spurs. And that bald beaut Dharmesh “My contacts tell me” Sheth is talking about players - I have never heard of before and will never hear of again - signing for Manchester City while I’m sat on the bed. BBC website on the laptop, twitter feed on the phone and Radio 5 is on in the background while some serial Wigan Athletic messageboard fuckwit - amongst a sea of serial Wigan Athletic messageboard fuckwits - is spouting shite on a er... messageboard.
Whilst over on another million football boards other fools are destroying young managers, players, and the game in general. Not a single one of them have a fucking clue about football. But it’s all 4-4-2 and 4-2-3-1 and “sack the manager” and you haven’t a clue… and… and…
And a not a single one of them have ever heard of the Post & Chronicle’s Football Pink...


Finton said...

Never a truer word spoken.

Finton said...

....though on reflection, you were a tad harsh on Rosie Webster. She'd be a shoe in for the make up counter at Debenhams.

Vaughanie said...

I like Rosie - but she's no Pat Phoenix...

Vaughanie said...

ps On other matters - I've just heard a girl in Wigan shout to her little lad: "Sebastian, come here"


terrythomas said...

Fatastic Andy, God I long for those Football Pink days!